what I want...

Recently I've been regretting studying life science (Particularly specialist -even worse than major- in physiology, if I chose nutrition life would be easier) sometimes...
4 years ago the younger me was too afraid of the word commitment and I chose a path that will supposedly lead me to more possibilities...
Well ya, those possibilities that are still possibilities..
One day my uncle told us a story, "Once there was a father-in-law telling a guy, 'you must marry my daughter if not I will throw you into jail for 30 years.' The guy then married his girlfriend under this threat. And then one day after many years, the guy suddenly got depressed and he told his wife.. 'If I didn't marry you 30 years ago, I would have already been a free man today" I don't know what my uncle is trying to tell us about marriage...
But will I one day find myself trapped when all I do is to seek freedom and avoid commitment?
Will I one day lose all choices if I keep holding on to all the possible possibilities and not deciding what I want to do?
I start to feel that time become "smaller" now.
How many months of salary can buy me a car, or buy me another certificates, how many years I need to work to have enough experience for the job I want. How many years I need to be in a place just to let me be in another place later... Maybe people don't think like that. They plan and everything works out well... no panic.
But for me. suddenly life is short since you have so much to do, to get to where you want or to get away from what you don't want. Life is long, too long that that I will gain what I don't have and also lose what I have when I reach the other end.
My plan after my graduation is pretty simple. Just take a break from studying, come back to work and gain experience. Never think of how long the break is gonna be. What experience do I actually want to get... I just don't want my parents to worried and be financially independent. Totally over-simplify the whole thing.
When I was young, I am very afraid of "reality" because I always heard ppl say “a=a, b=b... 可是，现实是残酷的”. It's like 现实 is a monster that will purposely come out and eat up all your dreams. So it's like no need to dream la, for some reasons the dream won't happen one... If I'm considered more grown up now, I think that 现实 is not as scary as I thought. But it's like the version of your imagination influenced by a lot of unexpected, maybe secondary yet significant factors and situations. too real but too complicated to be included in your dreams. So maybe if I dream harder and include more details in my dream, my dream will have a better quality...
But then again, maybe I just choose not to be realistic until reality hits me.